Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son



Yesterday, while polishing bits of the kitchen with baby wipes, the Bean treated me to a short lecture on the importance of cleaning the lid of the garbage can every day.

An hour later, after I had emptied but not yet thoroughly wiped it out, he took hold of the ikea potty he had just pooped in, donned it as a hat, and spun it around on his head, scouring it with his lustrous curls.

Three-year-olds, ladies and gentlemen.

Another perk to having one of these creatures is finding every magnetic surface in your home.



7 thoughts on “Three

  1. I wouldn’t mind if RR sullied her curls with a poop basket if she would just poop into an actual receptacle. On the other hand, she doesn’t lecture about the trash can lid so I think I’ve dodged a bullet…

  2. We’ve had the same fisher price mat, with the giraffe! Actualy, we still have the monkey, which both my kids LOVED, and when they find it in the catch-all for old toys, they so cuddle it and suck its tail (try not to get carried away with that image. Trust me. ;-)).
    Happy third birthday! An awesome age.

  3. Ah yes. The age when it’s not just strangers on the street explaining why you have failed at parenting, housekeeping, etc. Gotta love when it comes from inside your very own home. But don’t worry…you’ll get him back when he’s got his own place.

    However, don’t even try to criticize his headgear. Clearly you are showing your aging sense of style if you even think about letting some poop residue get in the way of his perfectly valid fashion statement.

  4. He’s an experimentalist! (Also, I hope he doesn’t mind getting his hair washed. Things Like That, plus screaming fits at head-wash time, are the sole reason my children have a gender-stereotypical buzz cut.)

  5. So um, beware for the never ending attraction of baby wipes? At least your kitchen top will not get nappy rash from being wet so often now. And smell like clean baby bum.
    I have a picture of a giraffe that I mean to send to you.

  6. Hahahahah! What a perfect snapshot of life with a three–year-old!

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