Hi, internets. Thank you for your many kindnesses in response to my last post. Progesterone and blogging really don’t mix.
I am feeling more optimistic today, and felt I should tell you that, so you at least see that these are mood swings, not just an endless sea of despair. I’m nervous to even post this, because, as some of you have pointed out, insisting I am not pregnant is partly a protective measure: if I admit I might be, I’m just opening myself up to be crushed
when [grits teeth] IF I’m not.
Reasons for optimism:
Stay tuned! I will doubtless change my mind about all of this tomorrow! Beta Sunday*, after which point, I may be happier or sadder, but I will almost definitely be more sane.
*I don’t plan to test early, because if it’s negative, I can’t stand the thought of going in for the beta. I tested early only the first cycle or two we tried, because even without a beta to attend, the “is it just too early?????” Is more mindfuck than I can handle.