Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Of Mice And Men


So, it’s been hundred years and I have part of a giant, item-y post catching you up on everything and all, but it’s also the first week of the semester and I just found out that students from last year’s fiction class are retaking the course, which means I have to recreate my whole syllabus, and well, I must be brief.

But for now, a short play from last night, starring me, the Bean, and this slightly obnoxious dog-shaped plastic “guitar” thing he was given for Christmas by someone who no doubt had excellent intentions. This thing is neither a guitar nor a dog (both things he loves) and plays wry parodies of children’s songs with dog-themed lyrics that would probably mean more to a child old enough to know the traditional versions, but anyway.

So there we are last night, listening to a very high-pitched woman’s voice singing something like “Bring Back My Doggie To Me,” ETA: he has brought the dang thing over to me, and I can confirm that the song was “Fancy Poodle Went To Town.”

BEAN: (confident) Dat’s a mouse singin’.
ME: A mouse?
BEAN: Mouse.

Song changes. A gruff, deep voice begins something cutesy to the tune of “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog” and yet, unaccountably, not actually “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog”

ME: Who’s singing now? Is this a dog?
BEAN: (deeply pitying) No. Dat’s a man.

Obviously. A singing dog would be ludicrous.


4 thoughts on “Of Mice And Men

  1. Hahahaha that’s adorable! Our kiddos got that dog for xmas, too. As well as the cat keyboard thing by the same company. I can’t decide which one is more obnoxious! The songs are all ridiculous and slightly creepy. Oh and you know how the dog will start whining at you when you stop playing with it? The cat growls! I’m sure it’s meant to be more of a purr… But it’s definitely growling.

  2. We have the dog too! A gift, of course. Buggie was into it for awhile but now mostly indifferent. We need a playdate soon. I can’t believe how chatty he is 🙂

  3. He got so blond! What a charming little sweetheart he is– so thrilled with his guitar! 🙂 Oh, those well meant gifts. They do make you insane. Grandpa is our resident purchaser of all things plastic which make noise. Fortunately they live at his house. Juju will play with these toys (plastic baby “laptop,” baby “ipad,” jungle animals singing whooziwhatzit…) for about 15 seconds before moving on to a book or ball or someone’s shoes. He hasn’t gotten the hint yet, but we’re hoping.

  4. I shall only give noisy toys to children whose parents I dislike. *evil smirk*

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