Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Good News/Bad News


Went to the doctor (mine) today.

The good news is that the bump on my face isn’t cancer.  (“It feels like a subcutaneous cyst.”  Pause.  “Sort of like a pimple.”  Is feeling foolish fatal?  Anyway.)

The bad news is that a magazine in the waiting room diagnosed my hair as “tacky.” No word on staging.

Better than cancer.  Or anyway, better than tacky hair and cancer.


(In other news, all is well and the Bean is charming and big and chatty and I have several longer posts brewing but it’s the end of the semester and Sugar is about to travel for work again and, well, it’s good you all have other hobbies besides reading this blog.  xoxo)

14 thoughts on “Good News/Bad News

  1. No cancer is way better than tacky hair in my opinion.
    and i have no hobbies other than reading this blog so an update on the bean would be lovely!

  2. So glad your face-bump is just out to humiliate you rather than savage you. Oy. Poor face.

    Magazines are invariably exactly and 100% wrong on hair. Also on make-up, swimsuits, evening dresses and body-hair. As far as I can tell, if you’re not using at least four products and an electrical implement to style said (head) hair, a magazine will tell you it’s tacky because how else do they sell you shit? Eh? Going natural, no matter how delicious it looks, DOES NOT SELL HAIR-STRAIGHTENERS. Which is a magazine’s main reason for existing. I consider it a point of honour to score ‘tacky’ or ‘unkempt’ from a magazine.

    Bean is chatty? Bean is CHATTY? Eheu! Fugaces labuntur anni.

    • Oh, how I love the smell of a modal verb in the morning! It is an honor to be unkempt with you.

      To quote my father:

      Time flies like an arrow,
      Fruit flies like a banana,
      And Spies like us.

      (The last is an allusion to the Dan Akroyd/Chevy Chase nuclear adventure comedy, a principle ingredient of my misspent youth. It, Ferris Bueller, Young Frankenstein, and Holy Grail were in constant rotation, all weekend, every weekend.)

      To quote the Bean:
      Da-Bur! Da-Bur! (trans.: Bird!)
      Ca! Ca! (cat)
      duhc! cwa! (duck, quack)

  3. nope, no other hobbies. 😉
    looking forward to the upcoming posts.

    ….and glad to hear the bump isn’t worrisome.

  4. Nice to hear from you. 🙂 Glad all is well. Post more when you can.

  5. The good news there really does seem to outweigh the bad news… A friend of mine had a cyst like that on her back and spent a long time worrying that it might be cancer. Then she was told by another friend that it wasn’t cancer if she could move it. So she kept poking at it to be sure it moved, which led to it being infected, which led to needing an operation. So it’s not foolish at all to get this kind of thing checked out. Now you don’t have to poke it! Looking forward to further updates.

  6. That’s the second time this week someone has mentioned their subcutaneous facial cysts. My coworker apparently gets them chronically and has to have them zapped off all the time. It’s such an ordeal that he’s opted to go on this seriously extreme sounding medication that suppresses his, apparently, over active immune system which is what’s causing the cysts. Because of the medication’s crazy side-effects he has to eat low fat, low cholesterol, avoid alcohol and sun and make monkey noises each morning. Maybe there’s more to it than he’s telling me, but it seem like a lot of sacrifice for some benign facial cysts.

    PS – I’m glad your face is ok.

  7. i am very glad you do not have a cancerous growth. and that you wrote a post.

  8. It would be foolish not to get your weird skin lumps checked out. And tacky to let a magazine tell you what is important in life, or for that matter what you should do with your hair.

    My hobby appears to be making weird pronouncements about how things should be.

  9. Hmmm. Tacky hair, eh? Not sure I can read this weblog anymore.

  10. My hair is never more than two inches long. It’s always too short to avoid most magazine-style sledge. On minus side, have permanent hedge-backwards styling.


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