Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Damp Items on a Sunny Thursday


These items were going to be brought to you by the bucket of water and bath toys I had put out on the in-no-way-waterproof floor of the Bean’s room because my God, sometimes you have to do crazy things just to surprise the creature into giving you some peace, but just as I opened the “new post” window, the Inevitable but none the less Great Flood occurred.  So now these items are brought to you by ordinary neglect — wait, this just in:  These items now brought to you by trying to type with one hand while nursing.

  • Item: The Bean is on a renewed nursing kick.  He wasn’t really off before — still 4-6 times a day, even at this late date — but now it’s serious.  I think someone told him about weaning and he freaked out.  The height (pretty please!) of the fervor was a few weeks ago, when it seemed like all he did between meals of solid food was nurse and wail.  Reminded me why I used to hate nursing so much.
  • Item: Eating solid food is also Always In Fashion.  I was reassured when a nanny and mother of three sat for him and Could Not Get Over the sheer quantity of food consumed at one of his five (5??) daily meals.  I think he eats a ton, but what do I know about babies?
  • Item: Where he puts those calories is anybody’s guess.  He continues to slide slowly down the growth chart for weight. At 18 lbs. 14 oz., he’s now 4th percentile for weight.  (CDC.  I’m sure he’s higher on the WHO charts — which even the CDC says to use under 24 months — but I haven’t looked up the numbers.)  He’s 39th%ile for height (29.5″), and his doctor is not worried.  “He’s just skinny.”  She has a daughter like that, and talked about how much she loves to watch her eat.
  • Item: I love the Bean’s doctor.  She always makes me feel better.  Also normal, she says, is the way he seemed to be starting to play with speech some time ago and then stopped.  His receptive language seems just fine, but we hardly even get a “Mama” these days.  “They do that,” she says, “It does not mean what you are thinking.”
  • The only slight disappointment about the visit was that all her advice about the fact that while the Bean eats Much Food he no longer (for the past month or two) eats Many Foods falls into the category of What I Am Already Trying To Do.  I suppose that’s validating, at least.  And Sugar says she found it helpful, so there’s that.
  • Item: A longer post should be written (perhaps even by me!  This year!) about all the praise out there for fat babies and skinny mothers, while we plod along as the inverse.  See also: Fun with PMS; Fun with Envy; Buying Clothes Sucks.
  • Item: I am officially back in my old size, in the sense that the size up is always too big, but 90% of “my size” is too small.  Neat.  I bought jeans anyway; they now look saggy.  WTF?
  • The Bean had a birthday!  We survived the first year!  There was a lot of cake.  Plural cakes, even.  I will (will!) write more later about how profoundly blessed it is that this is leap year.  Also, there will be some pictures.

He fell asleep (yes, I am nursing him to sleep, even though I was so proud of never doing that when he was tiny.  Shit happens.), and I need to get dressed for work.  I leave you with a picture of one of the Bean’s gifts from my parents (as suggested by the inimitable Starhillgirl, infant professional), already much adored:

That’s right: Baby’s First personalized shot glass.  #mamasdontletyourbabysgrowuptobefratboys

It is just the ticket:

21 thoughts on “Damp Items on a Sunny Thursday

  1. i love every word of this post — and salivating for another! Iz has been eating us out of house and home and remains SKINNY too so Im in the same boat. Unfortunately we _do_ know where it goes — the increase in appetite has also lead to an increase in poop-plosions!

  2. Love the cup! Skinny boys for the win- he and HP would get along well :). Happy birthday!

  3. Oh happy happy tbirthday, Bean!

  4. Oooor, as is more traditional, happy birthday.

  5. love the glass. That is hysterical.

  6. I want to write a lengthy comment but my E. has just woken up from his nap screaming. Ah well.

    Happy birthday, Bean!

    (And thanks for the reassurance on the language front- E. has done that- basically never babbles any more- and I have been helpfully telling myself over and over that this is probably normal. Good to know this is so.)

  7. oh, you have just solved a big present problem for me! Thank you! And also– jeans always start off too tight and end up too loose. It’s one of nature’s cruel jokes.

  8. HE gets a shot-glass? I want a shot-glass!

    As for the eats-like-a-horse-while-remaining-skinny, don’t babies do that as they hit a developmental surge/while planning world domination? Take advantage, teach him how to mix martinis.

  9. I should say something witty, but I’m too blinded by the cute to say anything but “awwwwww.” Your fault for including a photo.

  10. omfg. so getting bunny a shot glass!

    also, happy belated birthday, bean.

    and bean’s pediatrician does sound awesome. bunny has a similarly easygoing doc. we love her.

  11. I love your doctor for saying “it does not mean what you are thinking”. That’s a nice glimpse into why you love her so. I have a selfish yearning to know what the things that you’re already doing (re: the not many foods) are, but I understand that you are not my encyclopedia or parenting book or whatever. Anyhow, he looks like the world’s most perfect one year old (HURRAH!) baby, skinny or no, so while I’m sorry he’s nursing the life out of you (for reals, that sounds hellish), I guess it’s the price you pay. (Does seem like he could manage the occasional “Mama”, though…)

    • So it’s decided, then: you will ditch BunBun’s annoying doctor and move here. Hooray!

      The food advice basically came down to the ol’ division of responsibility business that I wholeheartedly endorse in principle, even if our practices fall short. To whit, parents decide what food and when, kids decide whether and how much. Put out the food that is on offer for that meal, and don’t freak out or play short-order cook if he won’t eat it. He won’t starve. Et cetera.

      I am pretty okay about doing this — though the notion that I am deciding “when” is a joke, since “when” is “pretty much constantly” — but I have a sadly low tolerance for being screamed at, which can present a problem re: sticking my ground. A problem that will get worse before it gets better, what with toddlerhood on the horizon, unless I steel myself, get some of those marvelous Ma Phones of yours, and have CIO dinner, I guess. I’ve started by deciding that I’m not holding his cup for him anymore, which has led to some freakouts but also to him mostly holding his cup.

      It has come to light that Sugar has been being even more of a pushover than I have, so maybe the doctor’s talk will result in a more united front.

      • Exactly–there’s an awful lot of screaming involved in that phrase “don’t freak out…if he won’t eat it.” And that’s the hard part for me, so far. I have considered keeping the Ma Phones at the dinner table… But I also got the Ellyn Satter book…

  12. I would like to read the fat baby/thin mother post!

    Also, I love your doctor too!

  13. Confession. I nurse Bhaji to sleep all the time. I have got all weak in my old age. Can’t stand the wailing like I used to.

    Naan is off the bottom of the charts for weight and 3rd centile for height. I think she’s a secret bonsai holy terror, personally, although no medical person will put it in writing for me. 🙂


  14. I’m getting back to this post now, during another nap. I’m curious- did the Bean’s doctor say anything about snacks? So if he doesn’t want to eat what you’ve offered at lunch, and you don’t play short-order cook, are you meant to offer snacks when he inevitably melts down during the afternoon, or do you just tough it out to dinner? And are you meant to try to include something you know he does eat with each meal, or do you just go about your business, and if the only thing he eats is cheese but dinner doesn’t involve cheese, tough luck for him?

    I am so curious about the whole food thing. Right now E. eats everything, but I can already feel myself getting twitchy on the days where he doesn’t eat much at one meal. So I know this is something I’m going to have to fight against.

    • We didn’t get into too much detail with the doctor — one of the things I like about her is that she doesn’t give a lot of rules, just as much advice as you ask for. From a practical standpoint, we do have something he is likely to eat at every meal, and as he has five sit-down meals a day, it’s never a long wait until the next one. We’ve also just gotten him one of those snack-trap boxes for the stroller and other out-of-the-house locations. I have no problem giving him more snacks (puffs, cheddar crackers, banana bread, whatever) between meals, especially with the semi-weaning drama currently underway. At home, I often put them on the footrest of his high chair, where he can stand up and get them himself.

      Our issue isn’t so much days when he eats less volume as his yelling and carrying on for more food when there’s plenty in front of him that he won’t try. (Apparently the answer is going out for dim sum every day — a solution I am not entirely opposed to….) It’s amazing to me that he eats so much and stays so small, but he does eat so very, very much that I’m not too worried when he has a slower day.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s