Hello, dearies. Sorry for the radio silence. In lieu of a real post — I had a migraine last night and now have a codeine hangover and anyway The Bean will be up from his nap soon — here are a few notes.
- The Bean meets the ocean! Sugar and I took the Bean to the beach. I have just deleted a very boring paragraph about logistics, the gist of which was: it seemed like everything was likely to be a disaster, with 9 people in a two-bedroom house, no one who was willing to help me with the baby for the days Sugar couldn’t be there, and a potentially angry teenager thrown in for spice, but it was in fact completely lovely. The Bean charmed the hell out of everybody, including the very sweet teenager, and Sugar and I got to leave him with family for our very first hour away from him.
- Oh, look, he’s up already. More items as the day progresses, I guess….
Hi, again. Phew. This napping after being up for 90 minutes to 2 hours business remains pretty successful. I’ve been noticing that the awake windows need to be shorter in the mornings. No idea if he’ll ever go to a schedule of fewer, longer naps, but at least he’s doing something. A thousand blessings again to Jennifer at Autism Normal for suggesting it. More items:
- Night sleep is still just okay. He sleeps pretty well, but still wakes up to eat several times a night. This means I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours in a row (and rarely more than 2.5) since February. This is not doing wonders for my mood. Supposedly he’s big enough not to need to eat that often anymore, so we may try to deal with this in some way, but while I’m a heartless monster about crying to sleep during the day (which happens at nearly every nap), I have very low tolerance for being screamed at during the night. We tried not nursing him back to sleep at one wake up on Saturday night (albeit not in a very well-thought-out manner), and boy did that suck worse than nursing. The status quo suddenly didn’t look so terrible.
- If he’d just stop believing the day begins at 5, I’d be happier.
- But I have to admit it was pretty cute this morning when Sugar and I were trying to pretend he wasn’t awake and he was lying between us, singing.
- Singing! This kid kills me.
- In exciting/terrifying news, we are seeing the beginnings of locomotion around here. Right now we’re in the “I want that toy that’s in front of me OH NO WHY AM I GOING BACKWARDS???!???!!” stage, which would be funny if I were the kind of terrible mother who would laugh at her child’s agony.
- I have also seen, several times in the past couple of days, full rising onto hands and knees. The laughing shoe will be on the other agonized foot shortly, it would seem, as our apartment is about as baby-proofed as a china shop in a coal mine.
- In the interests of finding novel methods of containment, we’ve set up the (inevitable) Stokke chair, and the Bean LOVES it. I was going to put in a rant about how the stupid baby seat isn’t going together properly (so that he fits now but won’t for long) and customer service was being enraging, but it turns out I was in touch with global customer service by mistake. While I was seething, a nice lady from American customer service called and is sending out a new version of the relevant bits. Does this mean Americans expect more coddling than other people and are spoiled? Maybe.
- At his four-month appointment, the Bean’s doctor (who is wonderful and needs a good blog name but meanwhile please ask me if you’re looking for a pediatrician in Brooklyn) said we could start giving him food if we wanted. We’re interested in baby-led weaning, but open to a little coercion, in the interests of more food and less formula when I go back to work. (Pipe dream! But never mind!) We’ve been letting him taste things, which is pretty cute. I don’t think he’s swallowed anything yet, but strawberries, cheese and crackers, mango lassis, and oatmeal cookies have all been aggressively grabbed for and shoved into mouth.
- Yes, I am ruining the child forever by letting him taste things with sugar. More on this another time, but the quickly: have you tasted breastmilk? Mine, at any rate, is basically creme brulee.
Breastmilk brings us nicely back to the proper subject of this blog, ME. Sheesh, Bean, get your own blog.
- My supply has not come all the way back, post-stupidfuckingbackalready period. Whee.
- Eating oatmeal helps a great deal, as long as I eat a whole lot of it. I am getting royally sick of oatmeal.
- I’m feeling somewhat embittered about this whole breastfeeding business, and right now, oatmeal is what I’m willing to do in terms taking things to increase supply. I know there are teas and supplements and domiperidone in the world; I know. Maybe seems terribly ungrateful to those with bigger supply worries, but I’m just feeling burnt out on pills and such right now. I hate herbal tea, and the hippy-but-not-dippy LC has warned me off fenugreek because of my problems with hypoglycemia.
- Oatmeal experiments are constantly underway chez Bionique. Oatmeal with a hard boiled egg and soy sauce smells like boiled ass but tastes pretty good (especially with a little butter); sriracha is okay once in a while. Salsa verde is less successful. Today I went with my mother’s (and great, great-grandfather’s) method of uncooked oats with cold milk. Not bad.
- Cookies come in handy, too.
- ..which may explain why I’ve gained three pounds. Though I think the carb-heavy breakfast and, more to the point, eating something because it is what I’m supposed to eat rather than what my body wants that day is as much if not more to blame. Sigh. I hope I get back to pre-pregnancy weight some day, as I miss my clothes very much. I am beginning to doubt this will ever happen; I’ve been in the range of halfway there for a long time. I am trying (with mixed success) to tell myself that feeding my child is more important than how I look.
Okay, I realize this post is not my greatest work, but I can feel the headache creeping back in steel-toed boots, so in the interest of ever getting anything up, I’m posting it now. Next project will be getting the beach pictures on to flickr so I can show you how utterly the Bean rocked his sunglasses.