Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Trying, I Promise


Hey, y’all.  I’m sorry to keep leaving you hanging.  Lately it seems like every night The Bean sleeps less than he did the night before, and I am showing the wear, shall we say.  You’ve probably picked up on the (subtly expressed) fact that I’m still feeling rather upset confused jangled about aspects of this story, and I do not have the emotional wherewithal to get the next bit done right now.  Soon, I hope.

In other news:

  • The Bean rolled over (back to front) this morning, successfully negotiating the second arm for the first time.
  • Gave pumping a Brownie Try for the last time.  Ten minutes on the PIS’s lowest setting = 3.5 days of renewed spasming.  May try a manual pump at some point, if that might be gentler.  Or The Bean will just have to be a “mixed baby,” like yours truly.

ETA: Yes, that’s Sugar.  I forgot that I meant to pair this photo with a reference to this post of just about exactly one year ago.  Same tank top and everything.

9 thoughts on “Trying, I Promise

  1. aw, i love the picture and the new header! so, so cute!!

    woohoo on the rolling over, very impressive!!

  2. GOODBYE PUMP, HELLO NOT PUMP. Because those vasospasms are just not okay. And take your time on the final segment–I have no doubt it will be well worth the wait, even if it’s not so much about entertaining us with your tribulations and more about sharing some weighty shit.

  3. You mean the healthy baby isn’t the ONLY thing that mattered in your birth? Maybe being treated with respect, compassion, understanding, and good medical judgment ALSO make a difference to us as human beings?

    Also, I had no vasospasms, and I still thought pumping SUCKED and I HATED it and one major motivation for never going back to work is that I’d have to pump and aaaaaargh. Fare thee well to your pump. I’m sure Bean and the formula will get along just fine.

    (He’s adorable, too, and so is Sugar.)
    (That is Sugar, right???)

  4. The cuteness: it is extreme.

  5. My head is exploding from the cuteness.

    Is the Bean close to the four month mark (I need your ticker to remember!)? I just learned the other day about the four-month sleep regression (have you checked out ‘wonder weeks’), and am glad I’ll now be watching for it.

    Post when you are ready and able. We internets are patient people. 🙂

    Thanks for all the assvice on my sleep issues. I really appreciated it.

  6. Nothing wrong with ‘mixed babies.’ You have to do what works. I love the picture!

  7. ah, yes, the 4 month sleep regression — we are VERY familiar with it..Today is Day 1 of sleep training – oh joy!

  8. Holy heck that is one cute picture. He’s reading music already?! Screw pumping if it gives you major pain. So not worth it.

    Can’t wait for the last installment, but I do understand in light of the lack of sleep.

  9. Oh man, that is some serious cute (both the Bean and Sugar).

    Mixed babies of all kinds are delightful. I’m glad you’ve decided to be kind to yourself.

    Looking forward to the rest of the birth story. It’s making me love you even more, which I hadn’t thought possible.

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