Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Blogging for LGBT Families Day: A Thanksgiving


The Bean is three months old today. He is sweet and smiley and miraculous. There isn’t a way to say he’s the light of our lives that doesn’t make me gag a bit, and yet it’s true. He wiggles an eyebrow and I am transformed from the grumpy dragon of morning to a cooing fool; he makes Sugar smile even when she’s barely slept, which let me tell you, is right up there with lead into gold. I could go on, but some of you might need to keep your lunches down.

Dreaming of Carrots and World Domination

In honor of Blogging for LGBT Families Day, I want to thank all of you who do blog about your LGBT families and your steps towards building them. We are happier, more confident, and, dare I say, better parents because of you.

It didn’t take a lesbian mom to provide the key to solving our napping problems (though in fact, it was one who did so), and I don’t mean to slight the many non-LGBT folks whose blogs I read. But there is something irreplaceable and maybe even healing about seeing the queer part of our lives (and of the lives we aspire to) reflected onscreen. Queer parents don’t get talked about much in mainstream media, beyond an occasional “look at the talking goat” sort of piece at pains to point out how normal and non-threatening some pair is, never forgetting that part of being non-threatening is never showing any anger at the forces that threaten our families. (And lookie what happens if you run one of those on Mothers’ Day.)

So quickly, before the Bean wakes up, thank you to those blogs I found when I first hit up Professor Google to figure out how this whole lesbo-mom thing could work (especially Lesbian Dad, One of His Moms, First Time, Second Time); to those whose authors were saddling up in the stirrups and shooting up sperm when we were; to those who came later, who let me feel like I know things worth sharing. Thank you for making your lives visible, so that ours feels less invisible.

The Bean thanks you, too.


15 thoughts on “Blogging for LGBT Families Day: A Thanksgiving

  1. Such a cutie! I can see why you turn into a cooing fool.

  2. He is so adorable!! We have that same giraffe and it is their faaaaavorite thing ever. They just stare at it while it “sings”.

  3. The Bean is a darling. Oh, how I would love a snuggle.

    And hurrah for LGBT families, blogging or otherwise! My own family has LGBT members, parents and children both, and it's so important to me that they are represented and respected and HEARD. Even in my hippy dippy liberal family, things are 'glossed over', and it Pisses Me Off. So hurrah and double hurrah for bloggers, and for people who will not be silent.

  4. He is so beautiful and I'm glad I found your blog and have seen your family grow.

  5. You guys are my favorite lesbians. Well, after my sister. She's pretty cool, too.
    I'm glad that I found you guys at the start of your blog and have been able to “watch” your growth into moms. Now kindly step aside, please, so that I can see more of the baby. 🙂

  6. Dang, that boy is cute. Well done, you two.

    The internet has been a lifesaver for me when it comes to TTC and figuring out my role as a lesbian mom. I am thankful for it every day, even though I've been crap as a blogger lately.

  7. Found you via Mombian; rushing to catch up as the baby whinges and needs to nurse.

    Welcome/ Hi! Looking forward to reading more about you all.


  8. What a handsome little Bean! Nothing like being surrounded by a happy family to make a happy baby :).

  9. I can only imagine how important it is to have the LGBT parenting community, given the insensitive and stupid things well-meaning non-LGBT folks (you know, like me) say, let alone the things ill-meaning non-LGBT folks say… I'm so glad you're here, even if you are abnormal and threatening.

  10. He is so cute! And it is awesome that you have found a supportive community to be parents since people can be such complete assholes aout accepting anything that is different than their own personal experience.

  11. Hey! Thanks for the shout-out, and for reminding me it's BFLGBTF day (on which I conveniently made a post!), and for posting adorable pics!

  12. love your blog! it's great to see other LGBT families out there. your boy is adorable1

  13. omg, that face. too cute!

  14. Re: your thirteen feedings. I feel like I totally owe you a huge apology for casually saying something like oh, isn't 12 normal, back when I didn't know better, because oh mah gawd how do you ever find time to blink your eyes in the middle of all that nursing. And my nipples think of you every time a gentle breeze blows–I now have a greater appreciation for the extent to which the people who failed to take you seriously and help you deserve to be burned alive. You are an AMAZING BREASTFEEDING WARRIOR.

  15. So…our sons could be brothers, they look so much alike. Actually, in reality, there is that slim chance, isn't there??? What bank did you use. That would be toooooo crazy! Waht a cutie!

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