Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Lady Parts Pop Quiz


Okay, class; clear your desks.

Q: You have arranged to cover or otherwise surround yourself in white fabric — wearing white pants, a white dress, a white bathing suit, or, in my case, the many white draperies Sugar has thrown around our bedroom in preparation for one of those slightly cheesy pregnancy photo shoots. What happens next?

˙ǝsɹnoɔ ɟo `ƃuıpǝǝlq ʇɹɐʇs noʎ :ɐ

(Don’t worry — not very much. I already talked to Dr. Skinny, who agrees with me that it’s likely the Return of The Irritable Cervices, nothing more. It’s just amazing to know that my body, which I so often doubt, still responds to primal cues like white cotton.)

9 thoughts on “Lady Parts Pop Quiz

  1. Lol. Cute, if not a tiny bit scary. Hugs. Did you keep taking the picture?!?!

  2. of course!

    glad everything's okay, otherwise…

  3. AGH. Glad it's just the cervices being grouchy. But still, AAAGH.

    And, wow, how VERY primal the response to white cotton is. (In my case, pink cotton is an equal trigger, Lord knows why). What would we do in a snow-drift?

  4. Ain't that a bitch?! I'm hoping your cervices calm themselves down right quick!

    Oh, and the acupuncture needles you saw Speedy taking out of Ozzie– Speedy is learning veterinary acupuncture and our menagerie are her guinea pigs. It actually does them a lot of good– imagine having your own live-in acupuncturist!

  5. Ugh. I haven't worn white since high school for exactly that reason.

  6. At first glance I read that as “Irritable Crevices” – man, THAT would be a horrible condition.

  7. Ha ha. At least your cervices have an evil sense of humour!

  8. Of course… don't expect your cervices to behave like professional models.

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