Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son



Greetings from the snowy midwest, where we are visiting Sugar’s family. The snow is not too deep and very pretty, but I am nonetheless grateful that my mother’s giant grey marshmallow of a down coat still closes around me. It’s touch-and-go after a meal, I tell you what. Luckily, we’ll be out of the cold weather and down to my parents soon, so it only has to hold on for a few more days. Related gripe: why doesn’t anyone make a maternity coat that is actually warm?

Perhaps because pregnant women are supposed to be warm all the time, but let me tell you, this one ain’t. Obviously everything is going as it should in terms of the important aspects of gestation, but I do find it funny how many of the “typical” symptoms have not visited me. I am cold all the time. My skin has never been drier — shea butter on the face every morning or the skin just peels away. And that business about your hair not falling out and then all coming loose after birth? I have very thick hair to begin with, but if it finds a way to fall out more than it is already, I will certainly be bald by the time The Bean sees me. (And yes, I will trade all that happily for the mildness of my morning sickness.)

I will also take it in happy trade for the nurse’s call yesterday saying my glucose test results were normal, which saves me a fight with the doctors, since I had made my mind up firmly to refuse the three-hour test. It was just over 24 hours before I was recovered from the one-hour, by the way, with an additional 24 to get rid of the migraine it brought on. And meanwhile, I’ve been poking around the journal literature and have become increasingly convinced that nearly all of the GD paranoia is based on g-d horse shit. I won’t bore you to death, but just for starters: in a study of outcomes for gestational diabetes patients and babies, wouldn’t you suppose it a good idea to exclude women who had poorly-controlled diabetes BEFORE pregnancy? Of course not: that would exclude almost all of the scary outcomes, and then how will you get published?

Sugar is champing at the bit to do laundry, so I’d better get out of these very soft but somewhat whiffy pajamas. (Yes, Melody, they are pajamas. Garnet Hill German cotton flannel. Get yourself some; I promise you will not be sorry. This is my fifth set.) I will leave you with a picture of my rapidly expanding mid-section, circa 28 weeks, and a promise that I will be back to report on anything exciting that happens on Christmas day at Sugar’s paternal grandmother’s house, where we’re not at all sure anyone has been told about the pregnancy. Last time I was there, one of Sugar’s cousins refused to do anything but gape at me while I was talking to her (about such controversial topics as “your daughter is very cute”). This should be even more fun without alcohol.


P.S. Yes, I’m beyond pissed about the legal goings on of my home state. Guess it’s off the list of “states I will allow us to live in prior to being absolutely certain we’re done having/adopting children.” Nice feeling to have about a place my family has lived for 250 years.

11 thoughts on “Normal

  1. love the belly picture, you look great!

    and yeah, im beyond pissed too. (and unfortunately i live in this backwards state still) 😦

  2. Yay for belly pic and mild symptoms!

    Boo for NC! And this in a state with a VERY liberal area (Durham) with a HUGE gay population. Freakin scared conservative morons who don't understand the meaning of the word EQUAL.

    Ahem. Sorry, rant over. Good luck with your holiday travelling and potential drama. Happy Holidays!

  3. that's terrible! I can't believe they can void adoptions like that!
    Also, cute belly pic! I hope you find a nice place near a warm fire and that you can fend off the cousins with minimal annoyance!

  4. Your belly is adorable. And you're right, the snow this year isn't very pretty for some reason.

    As for NC, that's awful. I wonder how the women who relied the defense that her ex “was not a parent because the adoption decree should not have been granted” feels about what she has done. Is she ashamed as she should be about the consequences of her personal vendetta?

  5. word, pom. i think we need to make it clear as a community that none of us — including allies — will ever sleep with someone who does something like this. you screw up everyone's rights because you can't grow the fuck up, no nookie for you. ever again.

    kakunna, i beg your pardon. durham may make the news, but the liberal town is the one i'm from, chapel hill. 😉 (and the triangle isn't the only liberal area of the state, though it may be the most liberal.)

  6. The belly is adorable, even if it is failing to keep you toasty-warm. (Why on earth should it keep you toasty-warm in snowy weather? if you were holding full-term baby in your arms in the snow, you'd both be cold and want proper coats, yes?).

    As for the Legal Goings On, oh, how ANGRY it must make you to realise one of your own community has shat on the lot of you. I am boilingly angry on your behalf, from all the way over here in another country. (Vested interest note: Some of my family are gay, and have adopted together, or jointly raised one of the couple's bio-children together. One cousin lost all parental rights in her daughter when she split up with her ex-girlfriend (this was before civil partnerships became legal in Britain), and any relationship she has been able to have with the child she raised from a baby has been down to whether her ex is feeling good-natured or not. It SUCKS. Changing things back to this for everyone, because of a personal issue, SUCKS.

    *waves hands irritably about, stomps off to fold laundry temperamentally. It's stupid H and I would never have these legal issues just because we have non-matching genitals. It's only luck of the draw that I fell in love with H instead of, ooh, I can think of a girl I knew once…*

  7. You have a gorgeous belly and I have to say I am truly ashamed of my home state and I hope someday that bullshit will change.

  8. Beautiful belly!

    Grrrr about NC. Just. Fucking. Wrong.

  9. Love the belly pic. I am not experiencing this supposed pregnancy warmth either. And my hair seems to be falling out at the usual rate (and it is not thick to begin with).

    The NC stuff is just ridiculous. And sad. It makes me angry. I imagine it must just make your blood boil.

  10. Precious belly picture! I cannot wait to hear about Christmas at Sugars family.

    Also the comment you left on my last blog post actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

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