Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

Buttons Of Our Lives


It’s been far too hot in the past several months to think about wearing jeans, but Cali’s Photo Friday suggestion got me curious.

12 weeks and change

Most of my summer clothes are big and loose; I had no idea it had come to this.
Here is the other exciting button in our lives these days:
doppler button
This darling little doppler was lent to us by a splendiferous blogger, with the help of another pair of magnificents (all of whom I’m happy to name if they’d like — You Know Who You Are). We love it and are so happy to have it visit us, especially knowing its storied history, listening in on the early moments of some very fine babies.
Before getting pregnant, I was very smug on the topic of dopplers. New-fangled nonsense, nothing a person with any faith would need, ultimately meaningless — not being able to find a heartbeat at home doesn’t mean there isn’t one, nor does finding one today mean one will be present tomorrow — and so on. Then came the Days of Bleeding. By bleeding, I mostly only mean spotting, but by days, I mean over a month, every day*. No matter how many times I told myself that the extra scans I had showed nothing wrong, that my cervices are famously testy, that none of it meant DOOM, it was DOOM I thought of at every bathroom trip, nonetheless.
The big argument against dopplers goes something like: You will one day fail to find a heartbeat, because you aren’t trained at this and these wee little machines aren’t perfect. And then you will panic, when you wouldn’t have panicked if you’d never had the means to try to eavesdrop beyond your uterine walls. And there’s something to all that, for sure.
But you know what? The first night of red bleeding, I PANICKED. Not having a doppler didn’t save me. I think if I’d had a doppler then, one of two things would have happened: We would have found a heartbeat and possibly felt a bit better; or we wouldn’t have found it and possibly felt worse. But I’m not so sure we had so very much worse to feel, in the absence of medical confirmation of our fears.
All of that is a very long-winded way of saying we’re glad to have the doppler. (THANK YOU, lovely people.) Sugar is good at finding the heartbeat, probably in part because she’s more patient than I am — she really seems to believe there’s something in there. I failed to find it the one time I tried alone, but strangely, it didn’t scare me that much. Sugar found it that evening.
If she weren’t pottering about, cleaning, I’d have her look for it now and try to record it for you. Just as well. All the books say these poetic things like, “your baby’s heartbeat sounds like a galloping horse,” but our baby? Our baby sounds more like a blue-tick hound on a porch somewhere, panting away the summer.
(Check out the other button-y pictures at Creating Motherhood.)
*I’m chicken to say this out loud, but there’s been nothing since Sunday. (!)

11 thoughts on “Buttons Of Our Lives

  1. I'm glad you have the comfort of the doppler. And, LOVE your button picture.

  2. we have one too. A colleague from work loaned it to us. W is obsessed (she is a doom-and-gloomer). We love it too!

  3. Nice button, lady! And the idea of a doppler that is handed down, bringing comfort to multiple couples, well, TEARS! Just lovely.

  4. in awe of your 1st pic (you got this jeans over the hips; that would be the Mission Impossible for me. And then you created such a “cool look” for/ with your button.) I am impressed!


  5. I think the dopplers can be a great thing. That said if I ever do manage to get myself knocked up I plan on becoming very good friends with anyone at work who could possibly manage to get me a freebie u/s peek should I ever have moments of panic.

  6. I LOVE the button šŸ™‚ Both of them šŸ™‚ I can't wait to get that far…in ALL of my pants šŸ™‚

  7. Great pic! I haven't told Col about the home doppler option yet but I know she'll be all over it when the time comes. Hopefully “nothing since Sunday” means you can finally be the blissful pregnant lady you deserve to be.

  8. Glad the doppler has been a help and not a hindrance and glad to hear the other thing (won't type it out) seems to be abating. Can you believe we've made it this far???

    (PS: Is it just me or did your ticker change dates?)

  9. Doppler was one of the best decisions of my pregnancy. I would have been an even bigger nutcase without it. Very cute button pic (the first). šŸ™‚

  10. Love the belly shot!

    Hey, I've got a couple of knock off BellaBands I don't need. I would be happy to send them to you. They weigh almost nothing, so would be no biggie to ship. Or, if either of you are going to be in midtown (my office is on 5th & 44th), I would be happy to put together a bag of maternity clothes. Really, you would be doing me a favor. We're going to be moving in about a month, and anything I can clear out will help the process.

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