Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son

It’s time


I’ve been in stirrups so many times in the past week that I’ve started wearing skirts to the clinic, just to save the trouble of taking my pants on and off. I take my shoes off anyway, because not doing so seems somehow inappropriate, even though there’s no real need.

I went into the Baby Factory for blood work and ultrasound this morning, as I have for the past seven consecutive days. First stop: blood draw room. There are lots of nurses, most wonderful, and I hadn’t had this one before. She said something sympathetic about how much time I’ve been spending there — both arms are pretty bruised at this point — and I said I didn’t mind, that I appreciated being watched so closely, that it helps me worry less. And anyway, I like having more data.
Oh, she asked, do you work in medicine?
This question comes up a lot. I don’t work in medicine, but I was raised by two doctors in an area where hospitals and labs are major employers. Medicine is my mother tongue.
So I told her no, that my parents were doctors, though. And then she said what easily fifty percent of people do after that revelation:
“Aren’t they disappointed that you’re not a doctor?”
Now I ask you, what kind of small talk is that? To tell you the truth, I’m not entirely convinced they’re not disappointed, though they never say so. Heck, sometimes I’m disappointed in myself for not being a doctor — I’m pretty sure I’d be good at it — and I never wanted to be one. But is this really a conversation I need to have with a stranger first thing in the morning? Public Service Announcement: If you find yourself about to ask someone who is not a very close friend whether her parents are disappointed in her, JUST DON’T.
Onward to ultrasound.
At the Baby Factory, all IVF patients on a given day are seen by the same doctor, no matter who your regular doctor is. Each day of the week has a doctor assigned to it; Dr. Baby Factory, for instance, is Dr. Monday. Ultrasounds are done by one of a trio of lovely fellows — all women, just to complicate the nomenclature — or by the doc of the day. Today I met Dr. Thursday, a jovial, paternalistic jackass.
First of all, I appreciate it when folks introduce themselves before sticking anything up my privates. Call it a quirk of my Southern upbringing. Second, when I tell you, since I’m not counting on your having read the details of my chart, that I have a vaginal septum and that you should aim to the right with that dildocam, the preferred response is, “thank you for telling me.” Not:
“Why didn’t somebody take that out?”
Luckily, my pre-cycle anxiety dreams had prepared me for this moment (only with more knives), so instead of blubbering I managed,
“Because it belongs to me.”
The examine continued in that vein. Dr. Thursday is the only one of the docs I’ve seen who didn’t adjust the u/s screen so I could see it, and I bet he wouldn’t have told me the follicle measurements I’d asked for if he hadn’t had to call them out to the resident in the corner. He ended the session with a pat on my knee and a “Good job” that made me feel like livestock.
So now I know why they want you barefoot in the stirrups: a kick to the face is bound to hurt less that way.
I am triggering tonight. Ten minutes to midnight, which my sweet, strictly diurnal Sugar is bound to hate. I’m nervous as heck about the shot and mostly about the retrieval and continue to appreciate your reassurances and general support.
Biggest follicle is about 19.5 mm. Dr. Thursday said about 10 on each side. So now I’m nervous about OHSS, too. E2 is 3364. Talked to Dr. Baby Factory, and he sounds a little nervous, too, but not nervous enough to have me trigger with Lupron. So I guess we just hope for the best and stock up on gatorade.
Retrieval is Saturday.
Which means a 5-day transfer would fall on…Dr. Thursday’s shift. Awesome Sauce.

22 thoughts on “It’s time

  1. Dr. Thursday sounds like he needs a serious course in bedside manners.

    Hope everything goes perfectly from here on out.

  2. Your Dr. Thursday sounds a whole heckuva lot like my Dr. Dead Fish. Don't you just looooove doctors (and tactless nurses, for that matter) with the warmth of reptiles?

    Holding my breath….

  3. How exciting that you're triggering tonight!

    Sorry about Dr. Thursday. He really does sound like an ass. The old RE's clinic did it by the day, too, and I had such negative experiences with some of the docs (one in particular) who performed my IUIs that I ended up switching to the FF.

    My Fertility Factory does it by the week, not the day. Technically, my IVF cycle is happening on a week that belongs to Dr. Hot Shot (the really famous one at the FF), but my RE likes doing her own patients' procedures and she and Dr. HS are BFFs (they're like the same person according to the head IVF nurse), so she came in to do my retrieval. I wouldn't have minded Dr. HS, but I admit that it was nice to see my own RE's familiar face this morning.

    In any case, it will be great, you'll get a ton of eggs, and his bedside manner won't matter because you'll be knocked out for most of it. 🙂

    Good luck on Saturday!

  4. Besides Dr. Thursday being a jackass, sounds like everything is great! I'm so excited for you and the retrieval. And this is good advice for me to make sure that I never have to go there on a Thursday!

  5. Dr. Thursday seriously needs a boot…I'd say inserted rectally but from the sound of the crap he was spewing his face would be the place to aim. Ugh! Yay for lots of follicles and close monitoring; stock up on protein and Gatorade and good luck 🙂

  6. Dr. Thursday does sound like an ass. Good luck with retrieval I hope it goes well. Hope the trigger shot goes well too.

  7. I REALLY hate Dr. Thursday. Wow. I bet his parents are disappointed in him.

    That sounds like lots of juicy follicles! I hope all goes very smoothly…

  8. Good luck good luck good luck!!!

  9. I'm sorry about Dr. Thursday being so fucked up about your septum. He obviously missed the late mail that your vaginae are to be *congratulated* upon, not wished into non-existence. Tool.
    But I'm wondering at Clueless Nurse, as well. Why bother to ask? OF COURSE your parents are disappointed in you. After all, to be a doctor is to achieve the highest pinnacle in the land. And parents are always disappointed in their kids. I'm sure Mr. Obama Snr. would have been disappointed that his son didn't meet expectations, if he were alive. I hope that I can conceive a baby this cycle that I'm going to be sorely disappointed in, as well….and hope that he/she enjoys the lifetime of feeling like an underachiever for no good reason that you've had. (Seriously though? Meh. My parents would be much more proud of you than of me, since you're a writer. And such a good one. It's the creative arts that get the kudos in my family).

    Also….is it really wrong that I feel totally competitive with you this cycle? I will be *totally* hacked off if/when you get more eggs than I do. Yes, I know that is wrong.

    Anyhoo – good luck my lovely friend. My ER yesterday was as nice as ever – I really do find them quite enjoyable. I hope it's the same for you on Saturday.

  10. Very odd, the things they say to you before stressful procedures/ops. One time a nurse wanted to know all about the parking arrangements in the art college, just before I got knocked out.
    Still think we should write a book of etiquette for Doctors, and kindly leave it in their postboxes, but on the other hand, how can you teach basic empathy?
    (Why didn't “somebody” take that out? Indeed. HMPH. What the hell?? Somebody? Like the postman?
    Good luck! Onwards!

  11. Here from LFCA. Sorry your doctor is an ass. He sounds like my endocrinologist.

    I see you've already been told about the wonders of Gatorade, but I can't sing its praises enough. It was the only thing that kept the bloat at bay.

    Good luck with the ER. I hope you get lots of lovely eggs.

  12. Wow. This is great. It's a pain that your dr. is such a d-bag, but whatever– just get the job done, right?

    I LOVE you're reply to him “Um, because it BELONGS to me!” That is just so…right. 🙂 Bet you really challenged his thinking with that. I hope so anyway.

  13. Well what can I say about the wonderful Dr. Thursday asshole that hasn't been said. Get ready for a good one to lay on him Thursday though. Getting so excited for you guys and you got you some follies girl wow! xoxo

  14. What an ass Dr. Thursday is. Sounds like one dr at my former clinic. I was not happy he was on duty when I went in for my last lining check before flying to Canada for my last FET, so I was happily surprised when one of my favorite drs came in to the room. I said, “Oh, I thought Dr. G was doing monitoring this morning.” “He is. I'm in the OR this morning, but I saw your name and thought I'd pop in to do your exam.” She also squealed and gave me a hug when I went in for my beta and told her I'd been getting positive pee sticks for 3 days.

    Hope your retrieval is a major success, and you're pregnant very, very soon!!!

  15. Here from LFCA.
    My ER was no problem at all, and my clinic just gives “loopy drugs” so I was conscious for the entire thing. I had 22 eggs retrieved so it took a bit longer and I asked for more loopy drugs as they were very short acting, and they were willing to give them to me. I rested for 45 minutes or so afterwards and then went home. The whole thing was quite uncomfortable but manageable as they were actually retrieving the eggs, and once it was all over I was just sore and a bit dopey.

    I was concerned about OHSS but didn't have any problems. I don't know that I did anything specific to avoid it, other than drinking coconut water instead of gatorade because I hate gatorade. I bought it at the health food store and it has a similar electrolyte content.

    Good luck

  16. OK first off, I have to say that both of my husband's parents are doctors. And one of his aunts. And his sister is ivy league educated. And he's a blue collar joe. Yeah…

    Your E2 is obviously a little high but certainly not in the absolutely get OHSS range. Hope you're enjoying your day off shots and I'll be checking back for the ER update tomorrow!

  17. Ahh, you've just got to love that extra sepcial personal touch you get from the fertility factory. When I did my IVF, I ended up with the doctor I couldn't stand doing the retrieval. Fortunately, he turned out to be great at getting the eggs out of my body. I was terrified of the procedure, but it turned out to be nothing at all. I was knocked out completely and he worked very quickly and got 26 eggs. They gave me some pain meds in my IV, and I felt absolutely fine. All I felt was a little bloated afterwards, but other than that- nothing. It was Thanksgiving Day and I was able to help prepare the dinner as if nothing had happened. I realize that I fall onto one end of the extreme, and there are people who have it harder than I did. But overwhelmingly, I think people find that the procedure is much easier than they expected.

  18. Sorry about Dr. Thursday. I love your response though. I'm enjoying following your IVF journey and can't wait to hear more.

  19. I hope the trigger went well – how exciting!

    I'm sorry about Dr. Thurs – what an asshole. But I'm glad everything else is going so well.

  20. Sending you lots of well wishes, lots of luck, and multitudes of grace and patience with Dr. Thursday.

  21. Dr. Thursday: Ass

    Saturday: EEK!

    I'll be stalking for updates.

  22. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Go Bionic Eggs, go!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s