Bionic Mamas

you're not losing a vagina, you're gaining a son




  • I have to admit they look more bullet-like than I’d imagined.

Meds are here!

  • …almost. Can you spot what’s missing?
  • How about if I name them? Pictured:

  1. Progesterone bullets
  2. Sharps container
  3. Alcohol swabs
  4. Syringes I hope I won’t need (for PIO)
  5. Gonal-F
  6. Ganirelex
  7. Prednisone

  • Not pictured?*
I had figured I would write one of those peppy, everything’s-moving-forward!, I-am-gonna-get-a-baby! posts when the meds arrived. Like ya do. Instead I spent the next several hours trying to decide whether to hide under the covers and cry, or drop everything and join the Russian circus. (I opted for just plain crying — too hot to get under the covers today.)
So! Peppier bullets!

  • The mind reels at her fashion choice, though. Satin tie-blouse? C’mon Jane. Go butch or go home — this shirt falls into the uncanny valley between butch and femme formal wear.
  • But then the heart warms at the thought of a big famous star wearing awkward wedding clothes. Clearly no stylist was involved. They’re just folks after all. Group hug!
  • (But seriously, Jane, at least ask a friend next time, ‘kay?)

*If you said HCG trigger shot and antibiotics, you win! Apparently HCG is a controlled substance in NY, so more hoops to jump through. At least if my cycle gets canceled I can sell it on the street.

OMG UPDATE: Kym says in the comments that HCG is used for body-building. So does this mean that if I do get pregnant, I can sell my pee? ‘Cause I could really use the money. And I have plenty of practice peeing in cups.

15 thoughts on “Bullets

  1. Go to a gym to sell the hCG. Apparently, it's the new rage in dieting and muscle-building.

    Hugs. May this be the last effup of the cycle.

  2. Hey, I don't know what pharmacy you are using, but Freedom Fertility always gets me my ovidrel (or whatever the generic version is) and I'm in NYC. So I think someone just fucked up and is now trying to hide under some sort of mystery regulation. Or, I could be wrong, but I've done 2 big-ass shots and it got delivered both times.

    I hope that the cycle gets easier!

  3. You have never had a yeast infection!

    Also, I need to do a photo like yours.

    And also also, Jane Lynch is fierce.

  4. ha! pomegranate has guessed my secret super-power!

  5. this is the most hilarious post ever

  6. I kinda like the shirt…

  7. Ive got a few (dozen) extra viles of HCG..if you have trouble getting the “controlled” substance, let me know and I can send it down to you. I dont get it in the pens so you have to measure it out youself, but its pretty easy! are on your way!

  8. 1. Where do those bullets go?

    2. Your uncanny valley comment made me die of laughter. I think I'll use your example when I teach that construct.

    3. I'm sorry about the added frustration. I too have spent loads of time weeping about the exhaustion of trying to get what I need to do a whole thing I don't even want to be doing. But I am excited to see those meds, 'cause OH BOY! MOVIN' ON UP!

  9. heh, well bunny, i'll give you a hint: most folks can only put them one place, but i plan to alternate sides….

    also, i can't tell you how pleased i am that you like the uncanny valley bit. funny 'cause it's true, what what.

    (and thanks for the exuberance.)

    e — thank you! i think we'll have it sorted out soon, but i'll come crying to you if not.

    Me — it's just…. i don't know if i can quite do justice to what's wrong here, and certainly not at comment-appropriate length. but femme-y styling on butch clothes is a crime against nature, in my ever-so-humble opinion. reminds me of middle-aged closet cases, the embittered kind. no out, proud, gay woman should have to dress this way. and jane lynch is a good 60% hotter than this picture implies.

    also, that kind of shirt is just BOUND to gap near the boobs. in fact, i think you can see evidence of its being held in check even in that picture.

    and don't even get me started on the lapels.

    irrational — yeah, you're probably right. as long as it gets sorted out in time, i'm reserving my irritation for the UPS guy, seeing as the super reacted to my offhand comment about the elevators being worked on with obvious surprise….

    mrs. b — i'm quite flattered.

  10. Oh my god, is it creepy and stalkerish to say that I now officially love you? I am so 100% there with you and the Jane Lynch comments, and I'll just leave it at that for fear of rambling on more than is really ever necessary. I also find it odd that you had problems getting the trigger shot, but so it goes. Also, I was totally unprepared for you to be starting meds already! I know it's not really “already” but still…Clearly my emotional needs are not factoring into your IVF timeline 🙂

  11. nicole, if being loved by you is creepy, i don't want to be un-creepy. or something like that.

    re: your timeline, i KNOW! i am not at all emotionally prepared to be going before you. what about MY needs???

  12. I promise that when it's my turn I will totally check in and see that all your needs re my IVF cycle are being met. That's how much I care! And don't worry, you are just the right amount of creepy. Seriously.

  13. Ok, and seriously, my word verification for that last post was “stork”!

  14. Ooh! Nicole! That IS weird! And is totally a SIGN.

    I am just hoping this comment gets through, I lose about 50% of them when I attempt to comment on this blog. Aargh. Bionic, whither WordPress?

    Anyhoo. BIG props on getting the meds and nearly getting started. It's a big moment, good to hear about the under-the-doona crying, I'm sure that's what all normal people should be doing at this time.

    And I was just thinking how much I like Jane Lynch's shirt. I have a thing for butch, but with a touch of femme. It gets me going. As does Jane Lynch herself, waaaaaah that she is married now! And also, her satin tie shirt looks so much better on her than the illfitting dress of horror on her bride. Not to mention her bride's 'wet-look' curls (never a favourite of mine, if you're lucky enough to be curly, be out and proud, don't mat them all down with some vile product).

  15. Good luck with the cycle. Hope the hcg comes soon. I've also heard there is some hcg diet thing that ups metabolism and helps you lose weight. Don't know anything else about it though.
    And I'm not much on current fashion or styles but I thought they look kind of good. They match and all.

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