There were six straight couples, one woman on her own, and us. We felt out of place. As soon as the presentation started, however, the room was united in one thought:

We sat there for a while, the slides zipping by.

The nurse giving the presentation threw out facts seemingly at random.

There was a lot of talk about ‘product’ i.e. sperm from your partner. This made me feel weird.

I started to feel like we were in a movie about the future.

Then came an enlivening surge of adrenaline when a photograph of the moronic therapist we were forced to see flashed up on the screen.

Then a little interlude with billing . . .

Then the truly surreal:

A plastic torso wearing real underwear comes out of the closet.

And is revealed to have a huge hole in its butt!

Don’t stab yourself in the sciatic nerve! Ok, have a nice day everyone.