For the umpteenth time, I’m contemplating leaving my university job for the for-profit world, mainly because while my current job is interesting/helps people/provides occasional international travel, it barely pays a living wage. (This makes my handle on this blog a bit of a joke, although at least my wage is one we can live on, unlike Baby’s. She makes kind of a zombie, undead wage)
So right now I’m staring at a byzantine job application for a consultancy. You know the kind of application: please tell us why we’re wonderful, please tell us why you’re wonderful, please be different from everyone else out there, make us an online portfolio, write us a bunch of crazy essays, etc., etc. (Let me pause and say, WTF, I’m not applying to Vassar here folks).
I’m wondering, should I put the work into this? Sometimes I believe that I’ve been in the academic world for too long, and I’ll never be able to get an interview at a real firm. And if I do get hired, it will probably be in my contract that I’ll have to use ‘words’ like ‘impactful’ on a regular basis.
Here’s how far I’ve gotten:
Why I am wonderful:
Because I’m secretly a unicorn, a care bear, and a vampire combined. My superhero name is The Sparkle Menace.
Why you are wonderful:
Because you have money.
Why I am different from everyone else out there
(see point one)
What inspires me:
Interesting art! Great novels! Not your dopey firm! Have you heard of
hubris? No? I know it’s an older word than ‘impactful’ but I think it’s still in the dictionary, and in modern usage . . .
Ok, possibly I’m not ready to do this application yet . . . .
Bionic Mamas 
February 12, 2010 at 5:42 am
Great picture. For the life of me I can't understand why the jobs that matter in the big picture don't pay accordingly.
February 12, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I totally lost it when I read “Because I'm secretly a unicorn, a care bear, and a vampire combined. My super hero name is The Sparkle Menace.” That is seriously funny.
February 12, 2010 at 1:42 pm
The Sparkle Menace, I like that. I only have a geocaching handle, and that is BillyBob. Note: It's one word. For some reason, that is very, very important to me.
One thing I've done that has helped me in the job hunt is to create a Master Resume and then also I found pat answers to stoopid questions and customized them (note: I didn't plagerize, I just needed help). So many of the questions are the same, that now I can copy and paste where I need to, and it's pretty easy to create a resume specific to the job I'm applying for.