On our minds lately:
Should we move to a warmer, cheaper, less hectic place? We might want to, but we’re not sure. At any rate, I am applying to jobs that are, gasp, not in New York. The idea of moving, i.e. the packing, the boxes, the baby and toddler amongst the boxes, the needing to find a place to live, buy a car, etc., is not appealing AT ALL, but the idea of having done those things and being in an actual house, A HOUSE!, is. Also, Bionic has not been having her usual set of anxiety dreams about how I insist that we buy a house without a roof that is teetering on the edge of a cliff because really it’s fine. Which means that maybe she’s ready?
Of course we have qualms. At the top of my qualm list is whether it will feel like giving up my ambitions and turning into a cubicle drone. My ambitions are/were mostly to be able to do art and have people see it. Getting to New York was therefore a sort of life goal. Unfortunately for me, once I got here, I didn’t know what to do or how to do it. Also, my job, commute, and general lack of space makes it basically impossible for me to actually make any art. So my rational self says, go somewhere else, set up a studio, get a little more free time (i.e. don’t reestablish two and a half hours of commute per day) and make some stuff. My irrational self says – AAAAAHHHHHHHh – New York is the pinnacle of something and so I should stay here and continue to suck! Because that makes sense.
Here is a short pro/con list based on recent conversations between me and Bionic:
- live in an abode with more than 3 rooms in it
- use own washing machine, dishwasher, etc. that are inside this same abode
- savings account!
- (the bean contributed the other day, “I could have a zoo!” My response: “um….”)
- I could have space for a studio
- Bionic will like the climate
- maybe it will feel like a new lease on life?
- cube job less interesting than current cube job
- maybe it will it feel like giving up?
- homophobic laws
- being the person with the accent
- initial friendlessness
- all the trees look weird
The tree thing is all me. Bionic is from the south, so the big tangles of unregulated green don’t seem odd to her. I think on the top of Bionic’s list of qualms is probably friendlessness, after all, if we move, I’ll go right into a job and she’ll be at home with two children and only a few connections (albeit one really great one if we get to the town we’re hoping for.)
We don’t really know what we want to do. I suppose if I get an offer it might help us sort out our feelings. But in the meantime, what do you guys think? Should we make the plunge?